• Heather Marie Jessop

The why and the how of dating your husband to create a greater connection.

Dates got you to a place where you wanted to marry each other. If you want to stay married, continue to date your spouse. ~ Andy Traub

God designed marriage to bless us! That includes the dating part after marriage.

We spend so much of our time working on our careers, making money, raising kids, spending time with family/friends, church and school. When our spouse should be our biggest priority.


Spending time with my husband always brings back that renewed feeling of love. It is a reminder of why we got married. The time spent with our spouse is really the best investment we can make with our time, money and energy. Having fun with each other is the key to a healthy marriage. What better gift to give our kids than parents who love each other.

Dating our husband is part of keeping the relationship new, fun and exciting. And provides an opportunity to really keep the passion and intimacy alive in the relationship. It fuels the fire for romance and provides much needed quality time for the two of you. Dating also enables growth as a couple as you can talk about your hopes, dreams and goals for the future


Start your date in the morning before the date actually happens. Give your husband a friendly reminder about this upcoming evening's activities. Instead of a nonchalant reminder. What would be more exciting, a longer than normal kiss goodbye with an "I can't wait for tonight." or just a blank comment "Don't forget about our date." I know your husband will choose the first and be anticipating the date all day. Sending him flirty and sexy text message reminders throughout the day will also amp up that excitement. Your limit is as far as your comfort zone. Feel free to go crazy if you want.

Our bodies follow our thoughts so get mentally prepared. Get excited about spending time with your man, what you are going to do and look forward to it. All of it... if you know what I mean.

I am not a fan of shaving but for date night it is a must. I am not going to lie, the longest I have gone without shaving my legs is over 4 months. Say What?!!! That was before I learned the importance of self-care. So, make friends with your razor and shave your legs and all the other special areas. Put on lotion. Exfoliate. Do your nails. Whatever you need to do to dress up that package. This will put your mind in an anticipated state and make you feel beautiful and precious. Oh, and no granny panties. This isn't for him. This is all for you, my friend. Nothing makes a woman feel sexier than to get all dolled up and looking nice.

Date night is a great opportunity to change up some of your habits. Do you burp or possibly belch in front of your husband? Maybe pass a little of the gas? Doing your hair and make-up a distant memory? Well, I want you to ask yourself: "Would I have ever, in my wildest dreams, ever gone on a first date the way I look the majority of the week?” If that was a big fat "No way!" Then it is time to step up your game, girl! Start by jotting down a list of the not so sexy things you may be doing and try to cut that list in half... for at least most of the time. You do this and your man might be looking at you in a whole new way.

Have a plan when you go out and be specific. Who is going to make the plans? Where are you going? What restaurant? What time are you leaving to ensure the sitter is there on time? What other activities will you be doing? Try to at least have some dates that don't involve getting groceries. This is a hard one for my husband and I as the closest town with major stores is an hour away. Not a trip we like to make too often.

Prep your surroundings! Make sure the house is clean, at least the kitchen. The kitchen in most households tends to be the main hub of family activities. You don’t want to come home after your date to a mess. Prep your bedroom! Pick-up and de-clutter. When was the last time you washed the sheets? The day you go out on your date would be a good day to clean them. Be sure to make the bed, as well. Think of your bed as an area with two purposes: sleep and sexy time. Keeping this in mind will make it a much sexier and peaceful place for you.

Touch... A LOT! All the time in all the spots that are comfortable for your spouse. Flirt! Put on your best flirt game like your life depends on it. No excuses! Show confidence because confidence is sexy!!

Flatter him! Tell him how much he turns you on. That he really makes you happy. Steer the conversation by being deliberate to talk about your husband. His dreams and goals. How grateful you are of him. Talk about those things that will build him up and bring out more of what you like!! And talk about your future together, goals, dreams and plans you have.

Get excited about what is to come and know the date is going to end with Sex! Fulfill his needs. How disappointing would it be to get all hyped up during the day to be let down at the end of the night?

Ditch the phones and no social media!!! Pictures are a must, yes! However, post them the next day. If you must have a phone just pick one and only answer it if it is the person watching your kids. No need to make your spouse feel like the third wheel. The goal is for connection. Not separation.

Let go of false expectations. Don't expect your husband to meet you where you are because he may not. Don't let it affect you. The night is for you, too!! Enjoy it!!

Your relationship is the foundation to a loving, happy home so prioritize it.

To learn more about how you can gain an intimate connection and find passion for your spouse again or to learn how to work with me directly contact me HERE.

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